By Rev. Sarah Bartlett
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”–Ecclesiastes 3:4
When was the first time you felt deep grief? That grief which enters into your bones, and soaks into your soul?Was it from the death of a loved one or the loss of a relationship?Was it from the loss of a job you loved?Was it losing your home?Was it from being in a natural disaster and the experience of instability?Was it from a diagnosis which impacts you and changes everything?We live in a culture and society that do not understand or appreciate grief.
Grief is the recognition that something hurts. Much like the tips of our fingers hurt when we touch something hot, our souls hurt when we are touched by something that disrupts our stability and our love for the other. We must learn to honor our grief and allow it space to be with us. It is teaching us to be careful, to be aware, to be tender with ourselves.
During this time of the C-19, there is a lot of grief. In my own family, Josh is grieving the loss of all the hard work he put into the local Science Olympiad, only to have it cancelled. In other homes, college and high school seniors are grieving the loss of the "hurrah" of the last semester, and family members who have underlying physical and emotional issues are grieving the loss of contact with other human beings.
During this time, our natural response is to connect to our faith, through each other. To reduce the anxiety within our spirits we seek others who feel the same way. We have seen this before, after 911 church attendance rose. After the last election, church attendance in moderate to liberal churches rose...most people want to be with other people when they hurt. It is who we are.
With this virus, we are being asked to behave counter to our emotional instincts, and this itself can cause us deep grief. Isolation is a real fear, not connecting with God through shared prayer is a real fear, not hearing and seeing someone go through a traumatic experience with you is a real fear. The grief folks are experiencing is real.
This virus is our chance to live out our Christian faith in ways we have not done before. This disease is one where Christians can hold the opportunity to live as Jesus commands us, protecting the vulnerable as best we can. Just as our faith is not about "me", the C-19 is not about "me."
This is hard—if you are hurting, allow yourself to grieve. Grief is your soul telling you to care for yourself. Find other ways to connect, call others, write cards, write letters, meditate, write stories. If isolation is getting you down, reach out the best way you can. Just as God is with us always, even when we can't see God, we are with each other always, even as we can't see each other. Use this time of Lent to do as we are called, re-connect with God in our individual way.
Care for yourselves and know that your feelings, whatever they are, are valid. Know you are loved, and that you are loving.
Rev. Bartlett is a graduate of Andover Newton, now part of Yale Divinity and is the pastor and teacher of the Parish Church in Alfred, Maine. She serves on the Board of the United Church of Christ’s Maine Conference, is a chaplain at Pilgrim Lodge (an outdoor ministry camp), serves as Chair of the UCC York Association’s missions committee, and in the past served as a community chaplain at Bates College, and on call chaplain at Maine Medical Center. She is a trained facilitator for the UCC/UU human sexuality program Our Whole Lives, and is always willing to volunteer as “Chaplain of the Day,’ for the Maine House of Representatives. Rev. Bartlett currently lives in Auburn, Maine with her husband Jeremiah, sons Josh (16) and Tristan (6). Completing the family is their dog Amelia, and cat Merlin. Her places of hope are found by the ocean, walking in the woods, and in reading a good book.
Angel image by Melissa Anthony
