By Sivani Katie Gelfand,
Mardi Gras—Fat Tuesday—is celebrated in many western cultures as an opportunity for excess and celebration before entering the more somber period of Lent. Other than my years in college, I’ve lived in New Orleans all my life and the energy of Mardi Gras is steeped in my soul.
To most outsiders, the costumes many locals assume for Mardi Gras are just part of the festivities. Tourists don’t understand that for many New Orleanians, the choice of costume can be a highly personal and transformative experience.
Two years ago on Mardi Gras Day, I was a unicorn. Anyone can just be a unicorn because they think unicorns are cool. But the why behind my costume is what made it truly special. Fourteen months before I wore this costume, I went through a painful and drawn-out divorce from my partner of 13 years. One lingering fragment to closing this chapter that still haunted me, was my wedding dress. This beautiful, expensive gown, that I wore on what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, was now soured by the memories of the breakup. I had to do something with the dress, either burn it…or transform it. And I had to shift the energy around myself, from being a broken and love-starved divorcée, into an independent, confident woman who loved herself rather than seeking love from another. I knew that transforming this dress, with intention was the solution. But what could I be in a white dress?
Then I started noticing unicorns everywhere. Unicorns are white, I thought. So I guess I could be a unicorn. Then I remembered one of my favorite childhood movies, The Last Unicorn, the harrowing adventure of a unicorn who journeys to the ends of the earth to find and save her kin and discover her true power. The courage, poise, mystical beauty, purity, and healing abilities of this mythical creature were everything I needed to embody in myself, to heal from my divorce, and move on in my life with grace.
Putting this kind of intention into my costume gave Mardi Gras Day a whole new meaning for me. By donning this costume, I was becoming Unicorn. On the outside to others, I was just a girl in a unicorn costume. But beneath the mask, I was embodying the qualities of this mystical creature and moved through the festivities of the day as Unicorn. I even ran into my ex-husband, sprinkled some fairy dust on him, and trotted on my way. From that day on I felt changed. The qualities I was seeking for myself through the magic of becoming the unicorn seeped into my being and took root. It was a truly transformational costuming experience.
Our fantasies teach us about our deepest desires and the true longings of our heart. Costuming is more than just a game of make-believe. It is an opportunity to try on something that possesses qualities we aspire to and explore the possibility of embodying our dreams. You would be surprised what you discover about yourself, and what sticks with you when the costume comes off. It might just lead you to who you truly are.
Sivani Katie Gelfand is the Director of Religious Exploration at the First Unitarian Universalist Church of New Orleans, the congregation in which she was raised. Concurrent to this ministry she is also a certified Spiritual Guide and Reiki Master Teacher. Sivani believes healing is the process of strengthening, deepening, and surrendering ourselves in the name of transformation. She is committed to compassionately supporting others along their journey to wholeness by guiding individuals to nurture and trust the deep wisdom of their own hearts. www.sivanistar.com
