By Sarah Siegel,
It’s hard right now. As I prepare for homeschooling our two youngest; try to decide what school scenario is best for our almost-15-year-old; support the kids and keep them occupied when their summer has been anything but normal; get my small business off the ground; maintain a part-time workload; do a practicum in Motivational Interviewing for groups; manage the house and the yard and garden; manage my health which is unreliable; connect and invest in my relationship with my husband in a mindful and intentional way; try to make time for writing; make healthy meals; tend to my kids’ emotional and mental health struggles as the changes from the pandemic have effected them all...
It’s a huge amount to manage. I’ve found that if I sacrifice my need to continue learning and growing professionally for being home with the kids 100%, I end up in a bad place. I am someone who needs to keep learning and growing and feeling like I have a way to do that in the world.
It’s hard.
I continue to find solace in a mindfulness practice centered on radical self-love and heart-opening work. I continue to do my best to welcome in each moment, no matter what it holds, whether it be pleasure, pain, or anything in between. I continue to work on forgiving myself for being imperfect and messy and for struggling with procrastination and anxiety. I continue to try and love others better and better each day and to not get lost in the sea of fear that seems to surround me—whether through politics, social media or the voices of the struggling people I have the honor of walking beside as they take their own healing journeys.
It takes intention and effort to refocus my attention on the abundance I have in my life, on the gratitude I have for all the material spiritual and emotional gifts I have, instead of constantly feeling a sense of lack.
I remember Einstein’s words often:“We can not solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
Fear, worry, shame, hate, anger are not the tools I want to use to solve the problems in my life. They certainly crop up at times in my mind, but I don’t want to get swept up in them. I work hard on returning to love. And there is much work to do.
How are you managing during these crazy times, when the earth shifts beneath our feet and the landscape of our lives continues to change in dramatic and often scary ways? How are you keeping your feet firmly on the path of love instead of fear and hate? How are you getting by? May today be a day that brings some new awarenesses and expanded love. May youeach be well.
Rev. Sarah Siegel was Ordained as an Interfaith Minister through ChIME in 2013. Currently, she also works as a Recovery Coach, Mindfulness Meditation Coach, and Writer.
Sarah has been in recovery from Opioid Use Disorder and Substance Use Disorder since 2007 and from working in the sex industry since 2003. Given this, much of her writing centers on healing from addiction and trauma. Sarah writes regularly for Recovery Journey Magazine and has been published in Lion’s Roar Magazine as well.
In her spare time, Sarah enjoys being with her three children, meditating, and reading. She also enjoys public speaking, finding ways to tell her story of recovery, and challenging the stigma around Substance Use Disorder.
Love photograph by Maciej Pawlik
