by Jean Berman,
printed in Expired and Inspired, Nov 21, 2018
The call came from a woman I liked and had learned from: would I consider participating in a Taharah –a what? Someone had died and she was spearheading a new initiative to offer the traditional Jewishceremony of purification. I was hesitant but open, and after more conversation decided I would give it atry. I felt unsure – what would it be like to cleanse a dead body? Would there be a smell? Could I handleit, or would I want to leave?
The woman who had called me led the team as we met together in a room of a local funeral home. Sheasked for questions and feelings, which we discussed. When we were ready, our leader set a sacred toneinto which I relaxed. Praying to the soul of the deceased woman, we let her know our intention of offeringhonor, respect, and comfort, and asking forgiveness in advance for anything we did or didn’t do thatmissed the mark. That was reassuring.
The sights and smells of the funeral home were unfamiliar and felt challenging. What was I doing there?As one woman was directed to begin reading the prayers for the ceremony, the rest of us gently, and withreverence began to prepare the body of the deceased. The liturgy was mostly unfamiliar to me. We wereall learning. We debriefed afterwards, talking about and giving thanks for the opportunity. I left with deepgratitude for the sacredness of the experience.
During my second Taharah, I found myself feeling how much this was like welcoming a newborn babywith tenderness and care. I imagined and wished that all those in the process of dying and everyone onEarth could have this experience. I sent wishes of peace and blessing out to those in the dying processeverywhere, that they might feel held, comforted, and honored. I had a deep sense within that I was bornto do this work.
Over time the spiritual experiences of Taharah and Shmirah (staying with the body of a deceased personbefore burial) have deepened for me. I have immersed myself in learning and sharing aspects of thesesacred traditions with others.
Berman, Jean, is an Interfaith Minister ordained by the Chaplaincy Institute of Maine. She is president of Kavod v'Nichum, meaning Honor and Comfort, a resource for Jewish end of life rituals. She currently coordinates volunteers for Constellation hospice in parts of Maine, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire. Jean is a lover of ceremony and cycles, and lives on Peaks Island, Maine. She has buttons on her backpack.
Candle Photo by Brian Lary
