by Rev. Jacob Watson,
All this searching for freedom, this determination not only to listen, but also to hear the still voice, led me inexorably into silence, to my interior, to self-examination, to self-realization. I made a month-long pilgrimage to India to live in a Hindu-Christian ashram. It was named Saccidananda, a combination of the words, Sat, Chit, Ananda, which translated from the Sanskrit means Existence, Consciousness, Bliss. I use this mantra daily. When I forget, I remember the irreverent phrase, “Hot shit Amanda.” But I seldom forget; it is part of me now. So is the freedom.
At our recent reunion, we recreated our Collins Brook meetings. I looked at each person as they spoke. Right in front of me was the excited young student and the earnest young teacher, changed from all those years ago, their body widened or thinned, their hair whitened or gone, but the person still beautiful, still full of spirit. I was touched deeply when my daughter Sarah said, with tears in her eyes, “I love hearing how you guys remember Collins Brook and what it meant to you, but I feel special gratitude. For a few years, you got to go to Collins Brook, which my parents ran, but I get to have my parents my whole life.”
Sharon and I turned to look at each other and saw tears in our eyes. Amongst all the change, I realized anew what doesn’t change. Everything manifest and phenomenal changes: Collins Brook was born and died. The stories we lived at Collins Brook, our natural emotions, our feelings, our personalities—the sweet meadows and the babbling brook—all change, season to season, year to year. For me, now, Collins Brook points to the unchanging, to the realm of what-is-ness, that which witnesses without judgement, the great silent stillness of love.
Rev. Jacob Watson, D.Min. is the author of We’re Gainin’: Collins Brook, A Maine Free School—A Memoir, which he wrote to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the school’s founding in 1969. This Reflectionary is from the book’s final chapter, “Spiritually Alive.” Jacob founded Collins Brook School and the Chaplaincy Institute of Maine. His Morning Blessing Gift meditations and Mini-Satsangs are available as audio recordings on the free meditation app Insight Timer. He provides individual students with Spiritual Companionship, and may be reached through his web site: revjacobwatson.com.
